There is a quote which says”Live your life for you and not for anyone else. Don’t let the fear of judged, rejected or disliked stop you from being yourself.” But many people  do not follow this. They change or transform themselves into someone different and act like an other person just to satisfy others and fooling themselves. First thing a person must know is to accept himself for whoever he is. Accepting himself whether he is good or bad, whether he is right or wrong. Once one accepts himself, then he could easily overcome the fear of others and be confident for who he is.Accepting ourselves is about recognizing things that we are not proud of, and this is part of being human.

We all make mistakes and as we are humans we are always worried that how others think about us and live in the fear of being judged and start hating ourselves.This hatred fills us with a lot of negative feeling and guilt is one among them.Having guilt for the mistake we make is a good thing but living the entire life with that guilt would make it worse.For instance,at some point, we become ashamed of the nakedness of our souls and so we start to cover them up.At some point, we become afraid of judgemental eyes and people’ s whispers, and also at some point, we lose the ability to be free in ourselves because the fear of being unwanted or unworthy is too hard to overcome.So it concludes that guilt and fear go hand in hand. And many people tend to think that they are the only one who made a mistake and people would never accept him/ her again. Well, this kind of thinking has to be changed. Now that a person is guilty about doing a mistake he has to accept it as he cannot change the past, but as days pass on he must be strong and make sure he does not do the same kind of mistake again as that would be foolish.

We all make mistakes and many of us go down a path in our lives that can make us feel guilty later on when we finally realize our mistake. The key, however, is to realize the mistake and accept that you’re only human. Don’t engage in days, weeks or months of self-blame or battering your self-esteem because you should’ve known, should’ve acted differently, or should’ve been an ideal person. You’re not, and neither am I. That’s just life.

Confusion between love and attraction

Many people get confused between what is love and what is liking and what is attraction?? In our teens all  of us have experienced this and also got trapped in these three words without differentiating what is what. Well this is the main reason why so many people break up and again patch up  or at the end become strangers and what not. There will be so many people around us confusing us , distracting us and we end up doing stupid things which we feel that it is right at that time. Attraction is the only thing which many people confuse for love. For instance, when a girl looks beautiful or when a guy is handsome  then the girl starts dreaming of that boy as how it would be if he was his boyfriend and similarly the boy  also thinks in the same way. Well!! Now it’s time to solve that confusion as people are committing many mistakes in this mixed confusion of feelings.

I would like to share a story of a girl who was also confused between love and attraction just like many other teens. The girl used to like every boy she found attractive including movie stars , celebrities and even her classmates but she just kept all those feeling wishing her because as soon as she finds another handsome guy , she tends to forget the other guy and it went like that until one day the boy whom she found attractive has proposed her. She just accepted that proposal without thinking anything because she found him attractive at that moment and she had her dream of dating a boy and having a boyfriend is coming true. Well on the other side, even the boy who proposed that girl was also only attracted to this cute and beautiful girl and hence challenged his friends that he would propose her and had a bet with his friends. Since the girl accepted , he won the bet with his friends which the girl was unaware and inturn that boy became the hero of their so called gang.They bunked classes and had fun and did a lot of things.As days passed by, both got admission in different colleges and inturn they did made new friends . Now that girl found other boys attractive and to her surprise even they liked her a lot and even they got attracted and proposed her . She was confused what to do as she already had a boy friend in other college and in that confusion  she started roaming with them and got close to them and inturn forgot about her boyfriend. The same case happened with that boy also.After few days , when girl met that guy  , they had no sort of feelings for each other , they just met and had nothing for each other because now they were attracted to other people and hence they decided never to meet again because they had no reason to meet and had someone else in their lives.

Well, this kind of situation happens with many people  and most of the time do not understand what they are doing. When people get attracted or people like someone , they must be in control and do not get into any sort of relationships without understanding whether they are attracted to that person or whether they just like that person and in this confusion makes them think they love each other and just keep telling everyone that he/she is their life partner and get committed by taking hasty decision and  later  get bored of that person .  So whenever this kind of attraction or liking starts for a person , one must think twice or thrice before proposing or accepting a proposal and also think about whether they will have the same kind of feeling over years. So it is very important  for a person to first focus on his career and if at all he/she has same kind of feel on that particular person over years and doesn’t get attracted to any person  in between , then it would be a correct time for expressing his like or love for the other person and there would be no confusion between love and attraction .

As we all know “Good friends are hard to find, harder to lose and impossible to forget” , most of us break our friendship with others due to several stupid reasons without thinking. A true friendship which lasts for a lifetime is the greatest achievement one could ever achieve. Dealing with the emotions of people is probably one of the toughest thing in this world and inspite of several differences and misunderstandings , maintaining a bond of friendship without harming one other is very important . After all , true happiness found in money or any other thing lasts only for couple of years , but the happiness that we experience with people lasts forever.

People become friends when their thoughts match , or when they like to spend time with each other and so on. Usually people who think in the same way get close in a faster way than those who are quite different from them. As days pass , they  become more close and do not like anyone to come in between them . But , as places change, time changes we tend to make more friends and  tend to get close with the new people . This kind of change makes the other person insecure and leaves one broken and disappointed as one thinks that    he/she is losing his/her friend and one’s mind gets filled up with all kind of negative feelings such as envy, sadness, ego, and many more. With those thoughts, one does stupid things and that would lead them to hate each other forever.I would like to narrate a story of a girl who has actually ruined her friendship due to these negative feelings.

There were two girls Clara and Lara who were very close  and would share everything with each other. They enjoyed each other’s company . After their schooling , they had to drift apart to different places for their further education. Yet , they kept in touch through phone ,email and other electronic media . They used to meet during vacations. Everything was good, but as Clara made new friends at her college she didn’t really speak with Lara much and would only talk once in two weeks . This kind of change in Clara has hurt Lara a lot, because she was  her only friend and she felt lonely for many days. Lara could not take this anymore and hence she got a transfer letter form her college and joined Clara’s college. When she saw Clara having fun with her new friends, all these negative feelings like envy and jealousy has crept into her. She went near Clara and just shouted on her as to why did she change and why was she not talking to her like before and just slapped her and went away.This insult which has happened to Clara in front of so many people was unbearable and hence she started hating Lara for slapping her in front of her friends . She started avoiding her and this increased the distance and hatred between two of them. Lara had made a plan of getting close with Clara again by making her new friends hate her. Lara became close with those girls and with her plans and ways she somehow separated them with Clara. Clara was dumbstruck and was shocked as to why her friends were not talking with her .Lara now goes near Clara,consoles her and tells her that she will always  be with her and tell her not to trust those girls. By her evil plans, she gets close to her friend again and never let her drift apart from her.

As days passed, she started feeling guilty for what she has done. She could not take that guilt and told her mom the whole incident . Lara’s mom never imagined that her daughter would do such a big mistake and counselled her that friendship doesn’t  mean that they both must always stick together. Just as how our thoughts and priorities change , everyone’s priorities change. When Clara  doesn’t give her much time, it doesn’t mean that Clara has forgot about her and didn’t care about her anymore. It only means that she has made her choice and that she  will always remember you in her memories.No matter where we are, our friends wil always be with us in trouble and help us. If Clara enjoys being with other people, it doesn’t mean that she doesn’t enjoy being with Lara anymore. It’s just that that  Clara has become busy and is making new friends to help her in her studies or for several reasons.Lara realised how foolish she was, and went back near Clara and apologised her and also apologised to Clara’s friends and never repeated such behaviour.Just because Lara did not get the attention she wanted, she could not control her emotions and went in a wrong direction to get back Clara’s attention. If Lara had thought with an open mind that she might be busy or that she isn’t finding much time to put an electronic message everyday due to her busy schedule and analysed Clara’s situation with a postive mind , then she could have avoided doing such a foolish thing.

Well , it was a very small story, but these kind of negative feelings like envy , greed and so on drives us to do many foolish things . When anyone of out friend gets a good score or becomes successful in life or earns a lot of money, we tend to become  jealous and try to destroy our own friendship ,Also if our friend doesn’t treat us and  does not  give us much importance , we tend to do the same with them. Our brain  is getting corrupted with these kind of thoughts and it wil lead us in doing many big mistakes such a murders too.  When a person is feeling insecure or is jealous of other person, he is not able to accept that the other person is better than him/her. When a person is able to accepts others success and talent , he would consider it as an inspiration and these negative thoughts do not drive us then.One must try to control our emotions and never let the negative thoughts drive us. A good postive mind always keeps us happy and also helps us in maintaining  the bonds of relations in a very good way.

As the famous quote says “Success always hugs you in private but failure always slaps you in public”, one should never take it to heart.One must not get disappointed but rather work on it again and again till one achieves success.There are many examples of how people get  disappointed when they don’t taste success in the first attempt itself.For instance, consider Walt Disney who was fired from a news paper company just because he was not creative enough but now he is the  creator of famous cartoon character Mickey Mouse. So whenever a person fails the first time or if his talent is not been recognised, one should not degrade himself but rather think about what made them fail and what made those people not recognise your talent.In this way he would be able to analyse his strengths and weakness and would know about oneself in a better way than before.

In contrast to the above method of analysing, many people take their examples in the wrong way.I would like to tell a story of my friend who was weak in studies and fails most of the time. He never made an attempt to analyse his thoughts as to why he was failing but rather  use examples of personalities such as Bill Gates who didn’t graduate ,the famous mathematician Ramanujan who failed in science subjects and so on and hence formed a false notion about his future.Days and years have passed by, but his thoughts still remain the same.He did not realise that he was fooling himself by thinking that he could become one of great scientist by doing nothing and also fooling others by giving examples of famous personalities and just shutting them up.When he saw his own classmates and friends working very hard to get good grades and getting settled in a well paid jobs, he was shocked that he couldn’t get into any good job as he is Bill Gates in his thoughts.He landed up no where and started thinking as to how those people achieved success  and why is he not getting the same kind of success.He started reading about famous people who have achieved success and found out that ”SUCCESS CANNOT BE ACHIEVED WITHOUT HARD WORK AND DEDICATION”.He never completely knew the stories of these people until that day and realised how foolish he was.He then started working on what he wanted to become and  though he might have faced a tough time during that process he was finally successful.

This kind of mistake is made by many teenagers who use examples of famous personalities as an escapism from studying or doing what is required . It is very important for them to know completely about those people rather than sticking on to one fact which they know.Hence it is very important to guide them in the right path and whenever a person talks about something on which he only has half or no knowledge, then any other elderly person should take up the responsibilty to guide them in the right way, should counsel them and also help them in achieving success.

We humans make several mistakes in our life. We have been taught from our childhood to always be careful in whatever we do and do not get ourselves into trouble, but once we get into our teens we ignore all those values and do what we want which would get most of us into huge trouble and later we regret about it. Well !! Don’t worry. You are not the only one who has regrets. Life gives us several opportunities to forget the past and move on and not to repeat the same mistake again and again. In this blog I would like to share few real life incidents of few people which bought them down, but they have faced it, got out of the depression and are on the right track now. I would be elated and appreciate if anyone is interested in sharing their own experience so that it might help other people who are facing the same problem.