Mistakes which cost your life

I would like to share my own story . I made plenty of mistakes with the person whom I love and with the person who kept his whole soul and heart for my happiness . I’m a loser and a very cruel person and I guess no person in this world would do the mistakes I do .

How do I start ? Where do I start ?? Well I love this guy Vampire , and I enjoy his company . He keeps me happy , cheers me up and eveything was going fine . But I end up texting other guys in between just for casual talks . This foolish act of mine ruined my entire life . My boyfriend was puzzled as to why I had to text other guys when he is the love of my life , but I did a few and never knew the intensity or seriousness of it .

Later stages of my life , I confessed at my home about my boyfriend and it lead to certain family disturbances . I should have been mature enough to handle such situations but I was not , I rather shouted on my boyfriend , kept fights with him , but deep down my head I really love him. My fights irritated him , but I never had any intentions to hurt him , I really really love him till date , but in that moment with those emotions governed by my parents tears , I kept on fighting with my boyfriend .

It was his darkest phase of his life where I should have supported him , but rather I kept fighting and those turned ugly and ended up in a very bad break up . I was angry on him , very angry . My anger took over the love I had towards him . Couple of months passed by , like 3 months and I started replying to a guy who liked me . Even though I haven’t yet moved on , I somehow liked the feeling of someone consoling me , and I have entered a relationship with this guy . This was the guy whom I texted in between , when I had my boyfriend .  This act of mine , created a sort of shock to my ex boyfriend , as we broke up by then , but then we spoke upon this topic . I kept lying to him , becasue I was just angry over the break up , and I continued the relationship with a new guy . I never liked his company , but I was just smiling and laughing and talking good which gave the perception that I was happy . I was parallely texting my ex too over what could be done to fix the broken relationship .

Months passed by , and I was feeling very bad about what I was doing . I was neither loyal to my ex where I was talking about patching up the relation and neither was I loyal to this guy with whom I entered a relationship . I wanted to tell my ex about what I did and I wanted to clear things out . So I flew down to his place and told about this new relationship and also I told that I actually wanted to patch up the relation with him , rather than continue with the new relation . This made him furious , and I lost the entire respect I had .

I decided to abruptly end up the new relation as well since I never liked his company , but I never told him so . This made him furious as well , since he didn’t like the idea of me getting back to my ex leaving him and he felt he was being used to fill up the void feeling I had after the break up .

With these mistakes , I have lost the love of my life whom I really love , but I did a very bad mistake which made him loose trust on me and he feels betrayed . And as for the other person , I made him loose belief in a relationship.

I never wish to loose my love, but it’s gone . Heart once broken cannot be fixed , and for me to get over all this , it’s going to take a life time . I do not want to loose my love , but there are so many other family disturbances due to which I lost my love once and then I love my love again due to  my mistake of entering a relation and now I do not know if my love would ever accept me back again and trust me ?

Relations , Trust , Love and Promises , they are the most beautiful things and most delicate things in a persons emotional side . Once broken , it would cost a life time to get them back . Mistakes I made are very costly and I hope this story of mine would help few who are reading to understand the value of Love and Trust .

I still hope life gives me a second chance and I shall wait for that opportunity.